How embarrassing

Why is it that just when you want/need to make a good impression you manage to make yourself look like a right dork?

Yesterday lunchtime me (and the other graduates who did my training scheme) had a presentation lunch with the company big wigs. Everyone was there and it was a great opportunity to look good. Now don't get me wrong I'm not completely shallow...but professional suicude so early on in my career would just be plain silly LOL. So anyhoo.... everything was looking good until I opened my sparkling water. I swear somebody had been in the kitchen shaking them all up because I've never seen a drink explode like that when the cap was undone. Seriously it drenched me and everyone around me and send my certificate swimming across the table. Then in the panic to clean up I knocked my plate of food on the floor! Well I certainly made an impression!

I'm sooooo tired

Man I feel so tired today…come to think of it I’ve felt tired….wait….scratch that…exhausted for the last few months. Totally and utterly drained if I’m honest. Reading Deb’s post here made me realise that maybe I’m not taking very good care of myself lately. I average about 6 hours (broken) sleep at night, I eat poorly and make little (ok….no) time for exercise. As a result I feel cranky all the time and I hate feeling like that.

Heck I need to turn over a new leaf….and pronto! Maybe I’ll go on the treadmill after work while I’m waiting for the chicken to marinade – I should do. Dinner will be reasonably healthy….marinated chicken in pita pockets with salad and a sprinkle of lower fat cheese. I’ll probably do a baked potato with it as well. So ok I guess this is a pledge to start taking better care of myself – and maybe get some of that self love and self respect back.

Of all the luck :)

Well of all the luck…..remember the post I made on Friday about me messing up a test at work? Well of all the luck….I had a look through all of the parts this morning – fully expecting to have to do some major detective work to figure out which parts were from which test. Guess what I found? Somebody had already etched a really tiny reference card number onto the part before it had been tested – so it was obvious which card went with which part. This is really unusual because the technicians never do this! I am so grateful to whichever technician went that extra mile – because its only because of him that I can complete my report. Hopefully I will have learned my lesson now.

Sleep, breakfast, walking boots......check!

Well I've had a good night sleep, a hearty breakfast, got my walking boots on and now I'm all ready for church. For those who have read my blog for a while you might remember that the new church we have started going to has these epic length singing sessions at the beginning of the service. Anyone who is wondering what I'm on about go have a look here :)

Seriously the "hymn" is 30 or 40 minutes of constant singing - one song after another.....which is cool....but you do need comfy shoes and a good breakfast to be able to survive the experience LOL.

Ok....talk later

Food talk

I have no real news really from today. We went grocery shopping this morning and then to Homebase to pick up some new gardening equipment using some vouchers that Andy won a few months ago. I got a neat little grow-your-own hot chilli pepper kit for £1.99. You just sprinkle in the seeds and water it - all the compost is already in there and the packet is also the plant pot...cool. So sometine in the next few weeks I should have some nice fresh veggies - I love fresh veggies.


Talking of veggies....I made roasted veggies for dinner and they were gorgeous. I just chopped up different veggie and seasoned them before putting them in the oven....a token gesture at healthy eating *sigh*. I was hungry an hour later and ended up eating yogurt and toast....so much for the healthy eating *another sigh*.

Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

Well that really is just terrific – I just messed up a long and expensive test at work.

It must be eons (ok so that’s not an engineering term – but you know what I mean) since I did this particular test at work. When these broken test parts come into the lab they have a piece of paper attached to each fragment. I have to assign a sample number to all of the fragments (from the same packet)_ and then write the same number on the piece of paper. Its not exactly rocket science! So anyway I etched the sample number onto my fragments and then plonked them all into a big vat of Powerclean to soak over the weekend. It was at that moment I realised that I hadn’t written the sample number onto the corresponding piece of paper. So basically there is now no way of knowing which sample is from which test. I can kind of remember which order I took them out…..but its going to take some investigating of Sherlock Holmes proportions to figure out which test is which.

Sometimes I astound myself how stupid I can be!

A chance encounter - and how do you forgive?

I had an interesting conversation with one of the managers from work yesterday. I’ve never completed any projects for this guy – but he once talked me into going into a class full of screaming 10 and 11 year olds (his wife’s class I should add) to talk about turbochargers and engineering etc. He also used to work closely with my husband before he was made redundant.

So anyway his conversation kind of caught me off guard. He obviously went out of his way to talk to me (as he sprinted across the car park…..suitcase in tow). He asked how hubby is doing and if any jobs had come up yet. Then he asked if I was managing and how I felt about my job now – and asked if anyone had spoken to me about it. At that point I think I realised that actually it’s the first time that anyone has asked me how I feel….and it really caught me off guard. I mentioned that I have lost some faith, confidence and trust in the cpmany regarding the way the situation was handled and that much of my job enjoyment had gone….not to mention the fact that I feel incredibly guilty that I’m still working here. Its kind of like survivor guilt that people talk about….obviously in a lesser way. He was sooooooo lovely and said that some of the managers do care and that he really hoped something would come up for hubby soon and that I would have my faith in the company restored. At this point I was nearly blubbing…I always do in those kind of situations.

I am trying so hard to forgive the people in this company that have done wrong by hubby. I won’t go into details here but lets just say I feel that the company made the redundancy selection criteria fit the people they wanted to get rid of. I feel so much pent up anger and frustration over this and I am really struggling. I have been trying so hard to forgive these people but its just not happening. I *need* to forgive these people….it is not my place to judge them…..it is not my place to punish them…that day will come for sure but it shouldn’t concern me. I need to forgive these people as the anger and unforgiveness is eating into my heart and soul. But how? How do I forgive from the heart? At the moment I feel like I’m in denial – like I’m trying to convince myself that I forgive. But then I see these people at work and the anger wells up again. We talked about forgiveness in church last Sunday and it kind of felt like the message was being sent for me – all of the examples and everything fit our situation perfectly!

EDITED TO ADD: I have some good news for a change :)

Unfortunately it doesn’t involve jobs :(

But anyway….hubby had paid out for unemployment insurance before he was made redundant - Well we just found out today that the insurance company will pay out. This will pay for our mortgage and give us some much needed breathing space.

I am so grateful for this – we have prayed hard that God will give us what we need whether it is finances or experience of hardship….we left it all in His hands. Isn’t our God an amazing God?

A peek into my world

As many of you know I am a mechanical engineer working in a metallurgy lab by day....and a blog designer by night. I am lucky in that I love my job and enjoy working with the most fabulous team.....ever. Anyway - this is a peek into my world - obviously I won't be disclosing the company details and any identifying marks have been removed :)

I took these photos a while ago but just re-discovered them.

I've also included some other random photos....I'll add some more later.

Inspecting a failed component - something that was returned under warranty

Putting a sample into the electron microscope

I love spending the day in a quiet dark room :)

My cat - Meg

My hubby

Me

I love ships and cruising. This was taken last November in the Caribbean

I love sunsets - this one was taken from my study window

One of my favourite places is Yorkshire Sculpture Park. Its a few miles from where I live and its a huge park stuffed full of sculptures.

Blog surfing and Followers

Blog-surfing is the name that I’ve given to following link upon link in people’s blogs….and its something that I really enjoy. I love finding out about people and reaching out to new potential friends – which is the main reason that I love Blogger. That considered – I really love the Followers function that we have here on Blogger as I can choose to follow blogs that I find interesting without me having to clutter up my Favourites/Bookmarks with loads of blogs.

This leads me on to a request…..if you haven’t already enabled Followers please think about doing so. It is great to see the Followers button there when I find a blog that I like!

For those who don’t know – if you choose to follow somebody you will be updated of their recent blog posts on your Dashboard. I love having people’s latest posts delivered to my Dashboard :)

Happy Fathers Day

To all you dads out there - including my own dad...happy fathers day. My dad is the most wonderfully adventurous and encouraging person.....ever :)

He's dragged me through - I mean...encouraged me through so many caves and potholes over the years. He's convinced I could climb rock faces and then watched as I did. In my younger days when I've made utterly stupid (and I mean stupid) decisions he's been there ready to help me get my life back on track and made me know that he is always there for me. Oh and he is the most amazing snorkeller - as witnessed last year in Martinique.....I don't think there's a fish he doesn't know LOL.

Dad - not sure how old. Taken at school in South Africa

Taken last November in Tortola

Well that's just terrific...

Well that's just terrific...my sister who is staying with us this week has just informed me that she isn't going home (Scotland) until Monday. Don't get me wrong I love her to bits but I really really wanted Sunday evening to chill out ready for work on Monday. Now I'll be entertaining, playing hostess and generally trying to pretend her being here doesn't stress me out because I have to bite my tongue so much. She's lovely really...but could test the patience of a saint. Unfortunately this blogger is no saint LOL

I'm rambling again

Gosh what a manic week! I’ve got many new blog designs in progress at the moment and they’re sure keeping me busy….which is just the way I like it.

I haven’t really got anything new going on at the moment….nothing remotely exciting anyway. Andy has gone into Leeds this morning for an interview with a recruitment agency – poor thing is going to be roasting alive wearing a suit in this weather.

In other LESS exciting news we have been measured up for some new windows as ours have been desperate for replacement when we moved into the house 2 years ago. If Andy gets a job soon we can use his redundancy money to get them. If he doesn’t – well at least we now know roughly how much money we would need to save up to get them. Please pray something comes up soon for him because he’s bored silly at home all day.

My sister is coming at the weekend. That should be fun although I’m kind of feeling a bit pressured. It’s a long story but I’ll share it anyway. Basically I became a Christian when I was about 12 years old. As I got older I kind of strayed a bit but still believed in God and prayed most days. But as I’ve got even older I’ve started to see the peace that Christians have in their life with fully trusting in God. I’ve recently (well a few months ago) started trusting fully in Him again and now seek to follow the path that God wants me to go down. The thing is my sister is a lifelong Christian and whilst she is very comfortable discussing her thoughts and feelings generally it is TOTALLY out of my comfort zone to do so…..especially with my sister. Couple this with the fact that really Andy did not have the privilege on being brought up in a Christian household and never went to church….so our recent talk about faith and church is still VERY alien to him. So I am feeling totally pressured that she’s going to want to talk non stop about religion…..which would be fine but its out of my comfort zone talking about it with my sister (until recently we didn’t really get along).

Talking about religion – we are still going to this new church and I’m still not sure how things are going. I’m still not really wanting to mix with people although I do kind of enjoy the lively informal atmosphere there. I’m just really struggling with the whole having to be friendly with strangers thing….you see I’m a naturally anti-social person really…..no really! Don’t get me wrong we have met some lovely people….but I just need longer to warm to them before I feel comfortable. I’m also unsure about the way the service is delivered. I chose this church because it is funky and modern and I knew there would be many people my age – but we have this 40 minute long hymn at the beginning followed by a 60-75 minute long sermon. And this is the problem for me…..it just needs splitting up a bit into hymn…sermon….hymn….sermon…..oh wait….that would be a traditional church service which I was trying to avoid LOL. On the other hand I do love their bookshop and have my eye on a wonderful study bible which I think I will be purchasing on Sunday. My sister is coming to check this church out on Sunday to judge the quality of the sermon. She’s concerned that I’m just not feeling the holy spirit at this one…..I think maybe that’s because I’m to busy feeling uncomfortable. Or maybe I’m just expecting to much? Oh I don’t know….I just expected to feel something different by now…..know what I mean?

I’m rambling so I’ll leave it there…..anyone still awake?

Hope on the horizon at last?

Andy has just (today) been invited to 2 interviews for next Thursday and Friday. One of them isn't quite the same kind of area he'd been working in (Project Management/Engineering) and is more Plant/Manufacturing management based and the other is the same kind of role he's just been doing before he was made redundant.

He was made redundant in April as he was told that his job role was redundant - we knew at the time it was a load of bull (I'm putting it politely you will notice). And then this week I have found out that somebody else is doing his old role because they are short a project engineer in his department. Which just confirms what we knew all along - that his employer (also my emplyer) has done him one over (also putting it politely). Now if it wasn't for the fact that I also work for this company I would name and shame the little blighters.....its a total disgrace and I no longer trust them. Anyway that is as much as I'll say on the matter as I can feel my blood pressure rising and I'm trying to forgive these people. They are not making it easy. But I take comfort in the fact that what they sow they will reap.....and I sit back and wait :)

Ramblings of my life: You are joking right?

Ramblings of my life: You are joking right?

You just HAVE to check out this post at a blog I just found. Seriously..... I just LOVE this! Its all the more funny because my dad comes from S Africa and I remember asking him a couple of those questions....like.....did you wear shoes. How terribly embarrassing LOL

A few ramblings - but nothing specific

Well not much is happening here which is just the way I like it really. We went to this new church again yesterday for the second time and I’m still making my mind up about it. Remember how I’m a bit people phobic (face to face wise)? Well yesterday people came across as a bit more pushy and wanting to get us involved. I do realise that we can’t stay wallflowers forever but I’m just not ready to meet Agnes and Bertha at the coffee shop yet – know what I mean? Does that sound terrible? Its lovely (and appreciated….even if it doesn’t seem like it) that they are trying to make us feel welcome but yesterday I kind of asked the Pastor if he would accept our wish to be wallflowers at the moment. We will get more involved eventually but for now were just finding our feet and comfort zone in this new place. This church has 800-1,000 people in the congregation every Sunday so I hope this puts it into perspective and explains why somebody who is a bit social phobic might take a while to settle in.

Last night I prayed that we will be happy in our new home (this new church) and thanked the Lord for bringing so many wonderful people into our life. I also thanked him for the people that I’m getting to know through my blogs and prayed that everyone who is struggling in the recession comes through it stronger than they went in. All of you who are struggling right now – you are in my thoughts and prayers :)

Work is work and is incredibly busy as we are doing more work with less staff. We’ve also just been made aware of a new product issue which is probably going to see us working even harder. Its ruthless out there at the moment and with so much back-biting and blame-projecting going on at the moment its just miserable there. I do really love my job but the atmosphere and lack of trust is hard to ignore at the moment. Plus I’m still finding it hard to forgive my employer for making hubby redundant. I hate to feel this as traditionally I do tend to forgive people….but I’m struggling right now with the forgiveness thing.

There’s not really anything else to report here as I’ve already said most of it at my Credit Crunch blog. Please feel free to go have a nosey there :)

Cuteness

Today I wanted to blog about my husband who I just love to bits. We have been married 6 1/2 years and each year just gets better and better.....well he might no agree with that LOL. I love his cuteness and the little thoughtful things that he does. Things like this - every lunch time he sends me an email telling me what he's done in the morning and then signs it with EJ ;o)

I love the little wink - but its the EJ that I think is really sweet. EJ is our abbreviation for elephant juice.....which for those who don't know - it looks like you are saying I love you when you say it.

So every day when I leave for work he kisses me and we tell each other Love you. And then at lunch time I get an email that is signed EJ. Life hasn't been easy lately but at least we can be sure of one thing....our love for each other......even if we do get exasperated with each other sometimes :)

Soooo tired - and I made up my mind

I made up my mind about the awards dinner thingy that I blogged about last time. After speaking to somebody who went on it last year I've decided not to go. I do love a good party but when I weighed up the pros and cons about it I just figured out that I didn't have much to gain.....and nobody really had anything to gain by me being there. So I figured I might as well say no so that somebody who really wants to go can use my ticket. To be honest I'm kind of relieved now I've made up my mind as I'm not really feeling terribly sociable at the moment.

On the family front....I had the family here at the weekend and we spent the time hanging out in the garden and having a BBQ etc. It was fantastic but I feel like I need a weekend to get over the weekend. I love my family and miss them. I haven't had them here since Christmas day last year when we got up to shenanigans such as wii tennis and generally being silly. Unfortunately I couldn't find my memory card for my camera (mum was thrilled about that!) so I have no pics - but here's one from Christmas :)