I want to get off

I really want OFF this emotional roller coaster. I have had my fill now.

Some important decisions were made today which indicate that the end is near for my dear FIL. I have been expecting this if I'm completely honest but it makes it no easier. Today my brave MIL made the decision that none of us want to make - to not resuscitate my FIL. Please pray for her as she is distraught at this and says she feels like a murderer. Of course we have all told her it was a brave decision, that FIL would not have wanted to spend the rest of his life in a chair or bed (he was soooo active) and that we would ALL Have done the same thing. But she is tortured by her decision and I just don't know what else to say to comfort her.

Tomorrow morning the doctors will be turning off the ventilator. Not long after my FIL will (most likely, barring a miracle...which I haven't given up on) pass away...blissfully unaware of what's going on. Andy says he knows it is in God's hands and he is prepared for whatever happens next.

If I'm truthful, the longer that FIL has been sedated & ventilated, the more I have been worried that we've done the right thing. Yesterday I began to worry that we'd acted selfishly by pulling my FIL this far.

So tomorrow please pray for peace for all of our family.

PS: I will be taking a short break from blogging while I spend time with the family this week. Please understand that I may not reply to your emails and comments etc straight away.